Most people do not form other relationships thinking that they are going to be cheating on their lover.  It usually starts off innocent and develops into an emotional bond before they themselves are aware of it happening.  There are 3 signs of the beginning stages of emotional infidelity that I find universal. 

It starts off with teasing.  The innocent flirtation between friends can easily escalate to the beginnings of sexual chemistry.  Just think about it.  How did you start to bond and get to know your lover of your present relationship?  A flirtatious smile, a gesture or teasing that was so innocent.  This can happen with people you spend a lot of time with or see on a regular basis.  Some of the places that are common for relationships to develop are – the office, the gym, neighbors, and yes, the grocery store.

Teasing opens the door to “interest” bonding.  That leads us to the second sign, emotional disengagement.  Attraction in play creates a pathway of discovering likes and dislikes in each other’s personality and life.  Sharing is broadened from the flirtatious play to discussing what bothers or excites them in life.  Automatically one will start disengaging from the relationship they have at home.  You have found someone else to share common interests with or satisfy compassionate needs.  This can happen so quickly and it is easier to just go with the flow than to spend the time and energy to try to work something out.

The third sign to watch out for is secretive behavior.  Are phone calls behind closed doors?  Are text messages or emails being hidden every time you come around the corner?  Do defenses go up when simple questions are being asked?  How about just out right denial that there is even a new relationship/friendship developing?

If you recognize the symptoms of emotional infidelity in the early stages it will be easier to reverse the effects of the broken intimacy with your established lover or spouse.  If you let it go and just keep wondering if you are perceiving the situation correctly, then you may find it to be too late.  You may be the one who is wandering and going astray, or worse yet, you may be the lover or spouse that is being left behind empty handed.  Do yourself a favor.  When you recognize these 3 signs of emotional infidelity, turn your energies to the relationship that you have already spent time nurturing and developing, and give it a fresh start.

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