Stop Divorce With Love and Respect
April 30th, 2009 | 
Author:
The best way to stop divorce and stop a spouse becoming an ex is having a relationship based on love and respect. That goes without saying, doesn’t it? I’m sure everyone realizes that love and respect are crucial to having a good marriage. Beyond love and respect there are a few things that can help spouse relationships.
Think back to when you were first married. If you’re newly married, think back to when you first met and were dating. How did you treat your partner? You probably treated your partner with respect, but also with kindness and thoughtfulness.
Unfortunately, it’s common that the longer we know someone, the less kind and respectful we tend to be toward one another. You would think that the opposite is true. But we start to take the other person for granted and think they’ll always be there, no matter what.
Think of the last time you spoke with a cashier or sales person. Or even the last time you spoke with a stranger. How was the tone of your voice and your words? You probably sounded like the sweetest person on earth. You probably left that person with the image of how thoughtful and polite you were.
Now think to the words and the tone of the voice you used the last time you spoke with your spouse. When you get angry or you’re unhappy about something, think about how you sound. Would you ever speak that way to a stranger or an acquaintance? If you’re thinking “probably not” then you’ve started taking advantage of your spouse.
We all tend to get relaxed and unguarded with close friends, parents and children, too. If you could record some of your conversations and play them back at a different time, you might be ashamed of how you sounded. And you probably wouldn’t speak that way to someone you didn’t know well for fear of hurting their feelings!
Good spouse relationships are kind ones. Everyone gets angry now and then. And yes, everyone says things he or she regrets in an angry and even hateful tone of voice. But don’t let this be the constant tone of your relationship. Keep these instances to a minimum by just thinking about whether you’d talk to your neighbor or your boss that way.
Thoughtfulness is also an important factor in good spouse relationships. People love their spouses, but it seems the longer they’re together, the less they show it. Your spouse is one person you should make a point of being thoughtful towards.
When you were first dating or first married, you might have sent (or received) flowers, cards and little surprises. Generally after people are married for a while, these sorts of things slow down or stop altogether. Remembering to be thoughtful and surprise your spouse can help makes yours one of the better spouse relationships.
Try to keep in mind that marriage isn’t written in stone. There really are other opportunities out there for your spouse. Stop divorce and bring back some of the things you did and said when you were trying to win this person over. Stop divorce with love and respect by being kind and thoughtful as much as you can. Those combined will make yours one of the enduring spouse relationships.
Posted in ex back stop divorce
‘Katie Zaltman is American’s leading marriage counselor. Learn the most effective strategies for saving your marriage and stopping your divorce.
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