Have you been putting yourself in agony of thoughts of how you and your ex can get back together?  Well it is not going to take you anywhere if you do not know what you want from the relationship.

Think for a minute.  What do you really want in the relationship if you and your ex get back together?  You should have a clear picture of what you are expecting this relationship to be.  You  need to be able to answer these four questions before you can move onto getting your ex back.

Ask yourself some of these questions:

How do you see yourself?  Are you secure with who you are?

What are some of your deepest values, the ones that you hold onto and won’t change?

What are your strengths and weaknesses?

What are your goals in life?

After you have asked these questions and answered yourself, you may have a better understanding of what you want in a relationship.  If you do not possess adequate knowledge of yourself, or a positive sense of self, then an intimate relationship will be difficult or impossible to sustain, whether it is an ex or someone new.

You need to know your own guidelines for a relationship.  Know where you have set the boundaries for your relationship.

These are all important questions that you should answer if you want to get back with your ex.  With a clear picture of what a relationship looks like, you will have a better chance at surviving your relationship.

Therefore, it is very important to examine all of your feeling and needs regarding any future relationship. Honestly look at what you must have and what you cannot live without.

Once you have established who you are and what you want for yourself, then you may be ready to go to the next step to get your ex back.

If you found this information helpful, and you believe you are ready to take the first step for you and your ex to get back together, then make sure to get our free guide “The Clean Slate Method”.  It’s free and it contains the four basic tips to get back with your ex with a clean slate.  Make a fresh start.

The Clean Slate Method

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Whatever the case may be, one thing is for sure, you need to be able to recognize the traits of a healthy relationship.  You may want you and your ex to get back together, stop a divorce or work on healing a relationship after emotional or physical infidelity. 

Without the knowledge of what healthy relationships look like it will be hard to follow the patterns of living in one. 

I came across an article this morning written by Brett Blumenthal – Sheer Balance.  She states that there are 6 signs that suggest you’re in a healthy relationship. 

These are:

• Loyalty
• Respect
• Unconditionally there
• Trustworthy
• A Genuine Sounding Board
• Dependability

These 6 traits make a great checklist to stay on track to move your relationship forward in a healthy manner.

I am placing a link to her article here so that you can read more about the 6 signs of a healthy relationship.  I really enjoyed her article and I think you will too.

Click on link  6 Traits of a Healthy Relationship

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So what is the big secret?  Don’t panic and stay cool and calm.  If you really want you and your ex get back together, if you want your ex back and stop divorce, then take T Dub’s advice.  Stay calm about the break up and agree with it.  I know it seems contradictory to what you want to do or what you feel, but believe me it works a lot better than begging to return.

Let’s review.

Don’t panic, flip out, apply text terrorism or drunk dialing, argue with breakup or have continuous “accidental” meetings.  Do – stay calm, agree with breakup, apoligize if you did something bad, and give them some space, some time to themselves.  If you want more details on this method that really does work go here to Ex Back and Stop Divorce.

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  Can you and your ex get back together? Can you get your ex back stop divorce and move on to marital bliss? Actually, I’ve done it. Well to be honest it is not bliss all of the time but we have a great marriage. I have learned a lot with the techniques used in the Magic of Making Up. I’ll share one with you now. It’s a first step and I call it balance.

You can go at getting your ex back aggressively or conservatively. In my opinion you need to balance both. The first step should be to back off. Remember they dumped you. Don’t go whining and begging for them to take you back. Major turnoff! And please don’t find them and start venting anger with various accusations. Give them space. You will have to give your ex time to let those emotions subside that were present when they dumped you. Let them have time to start to miss you again and remember the good ole times.

Next look at yourself. Who were you when they fell in love with you and who have you become at the point of separation. If you have become a totally different person, figure out what steps you can take to get that other person, who was once you, back.

Now you are ready for the more aggressive approach. Your aggressive approach works best in meeting your ex at social gatherings or in public. You must display confidence in who you are and that you are happy with the place that you are in. Present yourself as though you can take them or leave them. Always be courteous, and make sure that they are well aware of the fact that you are talking to them not because you are hung up on them but because they are there.

See how the conservative and aggressive approaches balance each other? Let your relationship grow slowly. You can get your ex back stop divorce and move on to a lasting relationship. You and your ex get back together the right way and your marriage can flourish again.

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How can you and your ex get back together and stop divorce. The divorce statistics say 50% of marriages end in divorce and this is climbing. Apparently getting married is a lot easier than staying married. Stopping your divorce can seem like an impossibility but it is not.

Most people get hurt in divorce and scarring sometimes last forever. I have talked to many adults who never did get over the hurt of their parents’ divorce. Knowing this, you may be wondering “How do I stop my divorce?”

     Below are three steps for you to get your ex back and stop divorce.

THE FIRST THING you need to realize is that lip service doesn’t work. Saying that you’ve changed does not mean you really have changed. This is especially true if you are the person who is at fault in the relationship. You are going to need some concrete action to back up what you say.

Affairs are like knives in the heart. They are going to take time for your partner to believe that you are no longer going back to your wandering ways. Your word can not be honored if you have been telling lies and covering up your tracks to hide an affair. You will need more than just telling your partner that you’re not stepping out anymore. Don’t fight your partner wanting to monitor your activities. Better yet, make the suggestion yourself to check in with him or her on a frequent basis. You have violated a trust that takes time to heal. Your job may require you to travel, and this is where you have fallen into temptation. The best thing to do would be to find another job where you stay close to home. Although in today’s economy if you have a job you definitely keep it. If this is the case you must find other means to fight the temptation of affairs.

Messing up a relationship is not only caused by affairs. For instance, if the wife’s (or husband’s) spending habits are causing money problems this can weaken the marriage. Credit cards might have to be cut up and the commitment to live on a cash only allowance might have to go into effect. Like I said before, it is getting harder to make it financially therefore many are working longer hours to make up for todays economy situations. If the work habits keep you or your ex away from home too often, the commitment may have to be made to be home by 6:30 every night no matter what. Or at least pick certain nights you will always be home early. At the core, you are going to have to decide what is the most important thing in your life? If it is your marriage, you will make the necessary changes. Remember, actions speak louder than words. Lip service will not make the cut.

STEP NUMBER TWO – Avoid using emotional blackmail if you want you and your ex to get back together and stop your divorce. Recognize that love is not enough to save your marriage. Telling your partner, “but I love you” in the heat of an argument will not win you any points. When you say “I love you” at inappropriate times, this weakens the emotional tie that love has between you. Your words once again become lip service without a solid foundation.

“I love you” are powerful words and their message will be stronger when your wounds are mended, not in the heat of an argument.

You can’t use guilt to change your partner’s mind. You will get nowhere healthy arguing like this. If you feel that you must win an argument and need to use guilt then you have already lost. Which this leads to our final point.

AND STEP NUMBER THREE – Don’t think that you have to win an argument. Some people like to use their superior logic or argumentative skills to “prove” they are right and their partner is wrong. You may even feel that you must have the last word in so your point is clear. This may work in a formally scored debate, but in a marriage (which is scored on emotions not logic) it’s sure to fail. Instead of arguing, try to think of some solutions to solve the problem. If your spouse brings up a fault in you, don’t argue back. Just calmly discuss possibilities for solutions. You will get somewhere a lot faster this way.

Start your marriage relationship mending by following the advice I’ve laid out here. If you want to take this further, follow this link and there will be more suggestions and an ebook on how you and your ex get back together and stop divorce.

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The best way to stop divorce and stop a spouse becoming an ex is having a relationship based on love and respect. That goes without saying, doesn’t it? I’m sure everyone realizes that love and respect are crucial to having a good marriage. Beyond love and respect there are a few things that can help spouse relationships.

Think back to when you were first married. If you’re newly married, think back to when you first met and were dating. How did you treat your partner? You probably treated your partner with respect, but also with kindness and thoughtfulness.

Unfortunately, it’s common that the longer we know someone, the less kind and respectful we tend to be toward one another. You would think that the opposite is true. But we start to take the other person for granted and think they’ll always be there, no matter what.

Think of the last time you spoke with a cashier or sales person. Or even the last time you spoke with a stranger. How was the tone of your voice and your words? You probably sounded like the sweetest person on earth. You probably left that person with the image of how thoughtful and polite you were.

Now think to the words and the tone of the voice you used the last time you spoke with your spouse. When you get angry or you’re unhappy about something, think about how you sound. Would you ever speak that way to a stranger or an acquaintance? If you’re thinking “probably not” then you’ve started taking advantage of your spouse.

We all tend to get relaxed and unguarded with close friends, parents and children, too. If you could record some of your conversations and play them back at a different time, you might be ashamed of how you sounded. And you probably wouldn’t speak that way to someone you didn’t know well for fear of hurting their feelings!

Good spouse relationships are kind ones. Everyone gets angry now and then. And yes, everyone says things he or she regrets in an angry and even hateful tone of voice. But don’t let this be the constant tone of your relationship. Keep these instances to a minimum by just thinking about whether you’d talk to your neighbor or your boss that way.

Thoughtfulness is also an important factor in good spouse relationships. People love their spouses, but it seems the longer they’re together, the less they show it. Your spouse is one person you should make a point of being thoughtful towards.

When you were first dating or first married, you might have sent (or received) flowers, cards and little surprises. Generally after people are married for a while, these sorts of things slow down or stop altogether. Remembering to be thoughtful and surprise your spouse can help makes yours one of the better spouse relationships.

Try to keep in mind that marriage isn’t written in stone. There really are other opportunities out there for your spouse. Stop divorce and bring back some of the things you did and said when you were trying to win this person over. Stop divorce with love and respect by being kind and thoughtful as much as you can. Those combined will make yours one of the enduring spouse relationships.

oh! and whatever you do – don't beg! let her know your intentions, see how she feels about it and go from there. treat her like you did when y ou were falling in love and never neglect her again.

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